Her Majesty's Mortarboard

When Penny done gone and got herself graduee-ated, she had a sudden inspiration to replicate Princess Beatrice's hilariously insane Philip Treacy pretzel-bagel hat from Kate & William's wedding. We had 24 hours, because that's the time frame between when they gave the seniors their caps and gowns, and the ceremony. It's doable (if you're not looking for a total exact replica, anyway), but my present to you is that you'll have an easier time because you'll have already done your shopping, and I've done the experimenting.

You'll need:
A sturdy headband with a little padding and cloth cover
Styrofoam wreath ring (we used an eight inch one from Joann Fabrics I would have preferred an oval, but they didn't have one the right size, and we didn't have time to wait)
Spray paint to match the mortarboard
Clear gloss

Wire ribbon 13-15 feet

Needle and sturdy thread to match the mortarboard

Long elastic headband for long hair (this kind, like a big ponytail holder) or see footnote for short-haired version

Exacto or serrated knife

Hot glue
A mortarboard

Paint the ring with the spray paint. Use light coats, because you'll have to do this a couple times.

Because the ribbon was so thin, I folded it in half and machine stitched the length of it so that it was a very sturdy ribbon a little over six feet in length. Things would have been easier with a little more to work with, though, so I've suggested a little longer up in the list. Or, if you have a really sturdy (but light!) wire ribbon, go for closer to six feet.

Cut an 8-inch piece of ribbon. Arrange the ribbon into a two-loop bow with clever long tails. I machine stitched partway up the loops of the bow and tail to make it behave like it looks like in the fabulous original.

Secure the center of the bow with the short piece of ribbon.  Glue it.

Arrange the tails of the bow like the Philip Treacy hat and glue to the ring.

Slipknot the elastic headband onto the sturdy headband (do not skip this step, you'll thank me later).

Put the headband/mortarboard on your graduate's head. The headband should fit correctly, but the mortarboard will be tilting in as extreme an angle as possible toward the front of her face. Mark the skullcap and the headband sides where you'll have to secure it.

The headband has to be stable while the mortarboard is crazy tilted. Stitch and glue the front forehead edge of the skull cap to the top of the headband, then pull it back inside the hat as shown below. Where it meets the sides is about where you'll secure it. The colors look odd in this photo, but it's the same hat.

Sew & glue the sides.

Fit the ribboned foam ring onto the mortarboard where it should go and mark where the corner of the hat should hit the ring. 

Carefully cut a notch into each side of the foam ring with the exacto or serrated knife. Be patient and slow here. There's no time for starting over, or going to the ER for stitches.

Working quickly, hot glue the notches and fit onto the hat

Hold steady until cool.

Use spray paint very carefully to touch up any dings.

Tie to an overhead hook to dry overnight. Use a hairdryer if you're nervous.

To wear, put the headband on your head correctly then adjust the tilt The hat should lean properly.

However, here's where you'll thank me: although very light, the hat can't cantilever well off the front of a human head. Take the elastic and loop it around a ponytail to balance the weight.

*Short haired version: instead of the elastic headband, you can take a length of half-inch elastic that is long enough to loop the center around the sturdy headband and go behind your ears and tie at your chin like a sunhat. Not incredibly comfortable, but then, this hat is for effect.