DIY Cheap and Lovely Bike Panniers

Release the Kraken

I have a bike I absolutely love. I like to carry some stuff when I ride, like a rain jacket and extra water, and I'm really tired of having an overheated back with a backpack. So I got a pannier rack. Then I looked at pannier bag prices and yikes.

We've ended up with a bunch of very nice conference totes for some reason. I love them, but we have more than we need, and I decided I wanted to reuse them creatively. If you don't have any, grocery stores have nice ones for about a dollar. In fact, Hannaford has lovely ones, because they run a design contest for them. I wanted waterproof, but you can use those weird fabric ones too, keeping in mind that they'll eventually get wet from something.

Next step, I looked for diy panniers on the web of the wide world, thinking it would be like so many things I look for, and there would be an embarrassment of riches of projects to take my pick from. What I found online ranged from an actual embarrassment (kitty litter buckets, which is just too janky for me) to tons of projects that start with an assumption that you already have a very nice messenger bag, or should go shopping for one.

The ones that use a nice bag had some helpful bits of information that I used. You need something to stiffen the bag, and suggestions were plywood or plexiglass or coroplast boards like election yard signs. Other suggestions were hooks to hook it onto the rack, little nuts and bolts to attach everything securely, and something like a u-bolt to hold a little bungee cord to stabilize the bag on the rack so it doesn't fly off.

So I gave it all a good think. I didn't want hooks on a tote bag that I might end up carrying because I didn't want it hooking on my clothes. I didn't want the bag open to rain at the top, although I liked the option of toting it off the bike. I didn't want to bother with plywood, which seemed heavy and vulnerable to damp; or plexiglass which is really pricey. I didn't want my stuff in the bag to catch on bolts on the inside of the bag, and I had no idea where you get coroplast, but no way did I want to buy it, because this project is meant to be cheap-cheap-cheap, and mostly recycled. So I contacted the county recycling people. They suggested I ask around where I work, first of all, then if that didn't work, contact local political party offices. As it turned out, there were a bunch of outdated signs in the closet at work, hooray!

Directions for one bag
I already owned:
1 reusable grocery bag
2 little zip ties

I recycled a coroplast yard sign from work

I went to the hardware store and got:
3 @ #8 eyebolts, that were unfortunately 1.25 inches long and I had to hacksaw them
8 @ #8 half-inch machine bolts that came with nuts (nuts you really won't use in the bag)
11 @ #8 acorn nuts
22 @ #8 washers
1 @ teeny bungee cords
2 @ keychain carabiners tough enough to hold the bag and small enough to go through the #8 eyebolts (it was dumb to get them at the hardware store; I found them at the Dollar Store much cheaper)
This stuff totalled $11.51

I went to the Dollar Store and got:
2 @ small (but not teeny) dog collars
So, $2 plus tax.

I think for two bags, getting a couple more little bags of hardware it would come to about $15 a bag.

I happen to have:
a hacksaw
a pair of pliers
a screwdriver
a sharpie
duck tape
a nail
and a way to make holes, but you may have to add those in.

This all covered one bag and went a little way toward the second. The first bag I made was a lot of trial and error. The second one I made took about an hour, so learn from me, Grasshopper, and plan on that.

Cut the coroplast sign to the right width. I just folded the length into a U shape that would stabilize the back as much as possible, then the bottom, then a bit toward the front.

When I was done, I really liked the shape of it, and refined it by taking about an inch off the top. It will all depend on the size of your bag and how you like it to look.

I had to make holes for the bolts and the eyebolts. You can do this a number of ways. I have a screwgun  so I just took a drywall screw and used it as a drill. You could also, of course, use an actual drill. Or you can use the hot nail technique that I describe later, but if you do, full disclaimer, it's dangerous, you could burn yourself or your home, so handle with care and don't be stupid, and I refuse to be sued, because I just said "don't be stupid."

Go ahead and make the two bolt holes at the back of the bag (I measured about two inches from either side and about an inch from the bottom and install the bolts like this: bolt, washer, bag, coroplast, washer, acorn nut. Hold the nut inside the bag with the pliers and screw the bolt in.

Eyeball where the bottom latches should go. I put mine two inches from the sides and a little over four from the bottom.

Too many bolts. For the second bag I just used the ones on the latch

Cut the dog collars. I cut the webbing in such a way that the little D ring wouldn't clang against the bolt. This came out to be nearly 3 inches from the top of the latch, but this is not an exact science. Drill holes through the bag and the coroplast.

Seal all the cut edges of the webbing, and make a hole. If you cannot handle fire safely, use nail polish to seal the webbing and use a drill for the hole, being very careful of your hands and using a piece of scrap wood for the drill.

If you're comfortable handling flame, light a candle, (in the sink if you're worried) and gently put the cut edge of the webbing near the flame until it melts a little and seals. Now take the nail and hold it with the pliers. Heat the nail for a while. Very carefully, poke the hot nail through the webbing for a hole. It should melt its way right through. Pay attention. Do not burn yourself. Do not set fire to your hair or clothing, or the dog collar. There's no way I can protect you from the world, so you're on your own.

Poke a hole through with the hot nail. It looks like I have three hands, but it's just a weird angle.

Screw the bolt through the latch webbing like so: bolt, washer, webbing, bag, coroplast, washer, acorn nut.

I taped it shut to see how it looked

Tuck the tote handles in the bag and fold the top over from back to front. Latch the top part of the dog collars to the installed bottom parts and figure out where they should be anchored on the back of the bag. Mark where two holes should be in the dog collars and in the bag. Drill the bag and coroplast. Make holes in the webbing. Install all nuts and bolts through the webbing and the bag.

Here's the bag open

Most of my photos are of the first bag, where I made too many holes. In fact, I made the entire bag, then installed it, then rode my bike and realized I was kicking it all over the place when I pedaled. I had to undo a bunch of bolts and rework the positioning of the carabiners. If you want to learn from my mistakes, you need to latch the bag, pretend to be hanging it on the bike using duck tape, and work the pedals with your actual foot. Or, failing the kinetic version, do a bit of measuring and math. If you are kicking the bag, you'll need to figure out a better position (further back and/or higher) on the rack. Once the position is right, hold a carabiner up and mark the bag at the bottom and top of each carabiner.

In the bag, drill one hole near the center bottom of the carabiner position and two about a quarter-inch apart from the center near the top, so it is like a little triangle. The bottom one will have an eyehook with the carabiner, and the top two will have a ziptie threaded through to stabilize the top of the carabiner. If you like, use some of the leftover coroplast behind the zipties to strengthen it.

Sorry, the water bottle is distracting, but I had it there for weight.

If you can get half-inch eyebolts, awesome. If not, compare the shank of the eyebolt to one of the machine bolts and mark it with a sharpie. Here's a tip: take one of the nuts that came with either the bolts, and put it on the eyebolt all the way to the eye. Hacksaw the eyebolt carefully. The reason for installing that nut is that after you hacksaw you can force the nut off with the pliers and it will straighten out the threads you mashed up when you hacksawed, meaning you can get the acorn nut on it more easily. Now install: eyebolts, washers, bag, coroplast, washers, acorn nuts.

Put the carabiners through the eyebolt so that they open towards the rack and the little end is at the eyebolt. Ziptie to secure the top of the carabiners. Now the bag should clip nicely onto your rack.

Figure out where a bungee should go towards the bottom of the back to stabilize the bag so it doesn't rattle around back there. Mark, drill, install the third eyebolt. Pull the bungee cord out of the hook, clip the bungee cord, thread it through the eyehole, the hook and make a knot.

Install!

Wombat occupies all bags.

Her Majesty's Mortarboard

When Penny done gone and got herself graduee-ated, she had a sudden inspiration to replicate Princess Beatrice's hilariously insane Philip Treacy pretzel-bagel hat from Kate & William's wedding. We had 24 hours, because that's the time frame between when they gave the seniors their caps and gowns, and the ceremony. It's doable (if you're not looking for a total exact replica, anyway), but my present to you is that you'll have an easier time because you'll have already done your shopping, and I've done the experimenting.

You'll need:
A sturdy headband with a little padding and cloth cover
Styrofoam wreath ring (we used an eight inch one from Joann Fabrics I would have preferred an oval, but they didn't have one the right size, and we didn't have time to wait)
Spray paint to match the mortarboard
Clear gloss

Wire ribbon 13-15 feet

Needle and sturdy thread to match the mortarboard

Long elastic headband for long hair (this kind, like a big ponytail holder) or see footnote for short-haired version

Exacto or serrated knife

Hot glue
A mortarboard

Paint the ring with the spray paint. Use light coats, because you'll have to do this a couple times.

Because the ribbon was so thin, I folded it in half and machine stitched the length of it so that it was a very sturdy ribbon a little over six feet in length. Things would have been easier with a little more to work with, though, so I've suggested a little longer up in the list. Or, if you have a really sturdy (but light!) wire ribbon, go for closer to six feet.

Cut an 8-inch piece of ribbon. Arrange the ribbon into a two-loop bow with clever long tails. I machine stitched partway up the loops of the bow and tail to make it behave like it looks like in the fabulous original.

Secure the center of the bow with the short piece of ribbon.  Glue it.

Arrange the tails of the bow like the Philip Treacy hat and glue to the ring.

Slipknot the elastic headband onto the sturdy headband (do not skip this step, you'll thank me later).

Put the headband/mortarboard on your graduate's head. The headband should fit correctly, but the mortarboard will be tilting in as extreme an angle as possible toward the front of her face. Mark the skullcap and the headband sides where you'll have to secure it.

The headband has to be stable while the mortarboard is crazy tilted. Stitch and glue the front forehead edge of the skull cap to the top of the headband, then pull it back inside the hat as shown below. Where it meets the sides is about where you'll secure it. The colors look odd in this photo, but it's the same hat.

Sew & glue the sides.

Fit the ribboned foam ring onto the mortarboard where it should go and mark where the corner of the hat should hit the ring. 

Carefully cut a notch into each side of the foam ring with the exacto or serrated knife. Be patient and slow here. There's no time for starting over, or going to the ER for stitches.

Working quickly, hot glue the notches and fit onto the hat

Hold steady until cool.

Use spray paint very carefully to touch up any dings.

Tie to an overhead hook to dry overnight. Use a hairdryer if you're nervous.

To wear, put the headband on your head correctly then adjust the tilt The hat should lean properly.

However, here's where you'll thank me: although very light, the hat can't cantilever well off the front of a human head. Take the elastic and loop it around a ponytail to balance the weight.

*Short haired version: instead of the elastic headband, you can take a length of half-inch elastic that is long enough to loop the center around the sturdy headband and go behind your ears and tie at your chin like a sunhat. Not incredibly comfortable, but then, this hat is for effect.