DIY Cheap and Lovely Bike Panniers

Release the Kraken

I have a bike I absolutely love. I like to carry some stuff when I ride, like a rain jacket and extra water, and I'm really tired of having an overheated back with a backpack. So I got a pannier rack. Then I looked at pannier bag prices and yikes.

We've ended up with a bunch of very nice conference totes for some reason. I love them, but we have more than we need, and I decided I wanted to reuse them creatively. If you don't have any, grocery stores have nice ones for about a dollar. In fact, Hannaford has lovely ones, because they run a design contest for them. I wanted waterproof, but you can use those weird fabric ones too, keeping in mind that they'll eventually get wet from something.

Next step, I looked for diy panniers on the web of the wide world, thinking it would be like so many things I look for, and there would be an embarrassment of riches of projects to take my pick from. What I found online ranged from an actual embarrassment (kitty litter buckets, which is just too janky for me) to tons of projects that start with an assumption that you already have a very nice messenger bag, or should go shopping for one.

The ones that use a nice bag had some helpful bits of information that I used. You need something to stiffen the bag, and suggestions were plywood or plexiglass or coroplast boards like election yard signs. Other suggestions were hooks to hook it onto the rack, little nuts and bolts to attach everything securely, and something like a u-bolt to hold a little bungee cord to stabilize the bag on the rack so it doesn't fly off.

So I gave it all a good think. I didn't want hooks on a tote bag that I might end up carrying because I didn't want it hooking on my clothes. I didn't want the bag open to rain at the top, although I liked the option of toting it off the bike. I didn't want to bother with plywood, which seemed heavy and vulnerable to damp; or plexiglass which is really pricey. I didn't want my stuff in the bag to catch on bolts on the inside of the bag, and I had no idea where you get coroplast, but no way did I want to buy it, because this project is meant to be cheap-cheap-cheap, and mostly recycled. So I contacted the county recycling people. They suggested I ask around where I work, first of all, then if that didn't work, contact local political party offices. As it turned out, there were a bunch of outdated signs in the closet at work, hooray!

Directions for one bag
I already owned:
1 reusable grocery bag
2 little zip ties

I recycled a coroplast yard sign from work

I went to the hardware store and got:
3 @ #8 eyebolts, that were unfortunately 1.25 inches long and I had to hacksaw them
8 @ #8 half-inch machine bolts that came with nuts (nuts you really won't use in the bag)
11 @ #8 acorn nuts
22 @ #8 washers
1 @ teeny bungee cords
2 @ keychain carabiners tough enough to hold the bag and small enough to go through the #8 eyebolts (it was dumb to get them at the hardware store; I found them at the Dollar Store much cheaper)
This stuff totalled $11.51

I went to the Dollar Store and got:
2 @ small (but not teeny) dog collars
So, $2 plus tax.

I think for two bags, getting a couple more little bags of hardware it would come to about $15 a bag.

I happen to have:
a hacksaw
a pair of pliers
a screwdriver
a sharpie
duck tape
a nail
and a way to make holes, but you may have to add those in.

This all covered one bag and went a little way toward the second. The first bag I made was a lot of trial and error. The second one I made took about an hour, so learn from me, Grasshopper, and plan on that.

Cut the coroplast sign to the right width. I just folded the length into a U shape that would stabilize the back as much as possible, then the bottom, then a bit toward the front.

When I was done, I really liked the shape of it, and refined it by taking about an inch off the top. It will all depend on the size of your bag and how you like it to look.

I had to make holes for the bolts and the eyebolts. You can do this a number of ways. I have a screwgun  so I just took a drywall screw and used it as a drill. You could also, of course, use an actual drill. Or you can use the hot nail technique that I describe later, but if you do, full disclaimer, it's dangerous, you could burn yourself or your home, so handle with care and don't be stupid, and I refuse to be sued, because I just said "don't be stupid."

Go ahead and make the two bolt holes at the back of the bag (I measured about two inches from either side and about an inch from the bottom and install the bolts like this: bolt, washer, bag, coroplast, washer, acorn nut. Hold the nut inside the bag with the pliers and screw the bolt in.

Eyeball where the bottom latches should go. I put mine two inches from the sides and a little over four from the bottom.

Too many bolts. For the second bag I just used the ones on the latch

Cut the dog collars. I cut the webbing in such a way that the little D ring wouldn't clang against the bolt. This came out to be nearly 3 inches from the top of the latch, but this is not an exact science. Drill holes through the bag and the coroplast.

Seal all the cut edges of the webbing, and make a hole. If you cannot handle fire safely, use nail polish to seal the webbing and use a drill for the hole, being very careful of your hands and using a piece of scrap wood for the drill.

If you're comfortable handling flame, light a candle, (in the sink if you're worried) and gently put the cut edge of the webbing near the flame until it melts a little and seals. Now take the nail and hold it with the pliers. Heat the nail for a while. Very carefully, poke the hot nail through the webbing for a hole. It should melt its way right through. Pay attention. Do not burn yourself. Do not set fire to your hair or clothing, or the dog collar. There's no way I can protect you from the world, so you're on your own.

Poke a hole through with the hot nail. It looks like I have three hands, but it's just a weird angle.

Screw the bolt through the latch webbing like so: bolt, washer, webbing, bag, coroplast, washer, acorn nut.

I taped it shut to see how it looked

Tuck the tote handles in the bag and fold the top over from back to front. Latch the top part of the dog collars to the installed bottom parts and figure out where they should be anchored on the back of the bag. Mark where two holes should be in the dog collars and in the bag. Drill the bag and coroplast. Make holes in the webbing. Install all nuts and bolts through the webbing and the bag.

Here's the bag open

Most of my photos are of the first bag, where I made too many holes. In fact, I made the entire bag, then installed it, then rode my bike and realized I was kicking it all over the place when I pedaled. I had to undo a bunch of bolts and rework the positioning of the carabiners. If you want to learn from my mistakes, you need to latch the bag, pretend to be hanging it on the bike using duck tape, and work the pedals with your actual foot. Or, failing the kinetic version, do a bit of measuring and math. If you are kicking the bag, you'll need to figure out a better position (further back and/or higher) on the rack. Once the position is right, hold a carabiner up and mark the bag at the bottom and top of each carabiner.

In the bag, drill one hole near the center bottom of the carabiner position and two about a quarter-inch apart from the center near the top, so it is like a little triangle. The bottom one will have an eyehook with the carabiner, and the top two will have a ziptie threaded through to stabilize the top of the carabiner. If you like, use some of the leftover coroplast behind the zipties to strengthen it.

Sorry, the water bottle is distracting, but I had it there for weight.

If you can get half-inch eyebolts, awesome. If not, compare the shank of the eyebolt to one of the machine bolts and mark it with a sharpie. Here's a tip: take one of the nuts that came with either the bolts, and put it on the eyebolt all the way to the eye. Hacksaw the eyebolt carefully. The reason for installing that nut is that after you hacksaw you can force the nut off with the pliers and it will straighten out the threads you mashed up when you hacksawed, meaning you can get the acorn nut on it more easily. Now install: eyebolts, washers, bag, coroplast, washers, acorn nuts.

Put the carabiners through the eyebolt so that they open towards the rack and the little end is at the eyebolt. Ziptie to secure the top of the carabiners. Now the bag should clip nicely onto your rack.

Figure out where a bungee should go towards the bottom of the back to stabilize the bag so it doesn't rattle around back there. Mark, drill, install the third eyebolt. Pull the bungee cord out of the hook, clip the bungee cord, thread it through the eyehole, the hook and make a knot.

Install!

Wombat occupies all bags.

Her Majesty's Mortarboard

When Penny done gone and got herself graduee-ated, she had a sudden inspiration to replicate Princess Beatrice's hilariously insane Philip Treacy pretzel-bagel hat from Kate & William's wedding. We had 24 hours, because that's the time frame between when they gave the seniors their caps and gowns, and the ceremony. It's doable (if you're not looking for a total exact replica, anyway), but my present to you is that you'll have an easier time because you'll have already done your shopping, and I've done the experimenting.

You'll need:
A sturdy headband with a little padding and cloth cover
Styrofoam wreath ring (we used an eight inch one from Joann Fabrics I would have preferred an oval, but they didn't have one the right size, and we didn't have time to wait)
Spray paint to match the mortarboard
Clear gloss

Wire ribbon 13-15 feet

Needle and sturdy thread to match the mortarboard

Long elastic headband for long hair (this kind, like a big ponytail holder) or see footnote for short-haired version

Exacto or serrated knife

Hot glue
A mortarboard

Paint the ring with the spray paint. Use light coats, because you'll have to do this a couple times.

Because the ribbon was so thin, I folded it in half and machine stitched the length of it so that it was a very sturdy ribbon a little over six feet in length. Things would have been easier with a little more to work with, though, so I've suggested a little longer up in the list. Or, if you have a really sturdy (but light!) wire ribbon, go for closer to six feet.

Cut an 8-inch piece of ribbon. Arrange the ribbon into a two-loop bow with clever long tails. I machine stitched partway up the loops of the bow and tail to make it behave like it looks like in the fabulous original.

Secure the center of the bow with the short piece of ribbon.  Glue it.

Arrange the tails of the bow like the Philip Treacy hat and glue to the ring.

Slipknot the elastic headband onto the sturdy headband (do not skip this step, you'll thank me later).

Put the headband/mortarboard on your graduate's head. The headband should fit correctly, but the mortarboard will be tilting in as extreme an angle as possible toward the front of her face. Mark the skullcap and the headband sides where you'll have to secure it.

The headband has to be stable while the mortarboard is crazy tilted. Stitch and glue the front forehead edge of the skull cap to the top of the headband, then pull it back inside the hat as shown below. Where it meets the sides is about where you'll secure it. The colors look odd in this photo, but it's the same hat.

Sew & glue the sides.

Fit the ribboned foam ring onto the mortarboard where it should go and mark where the corner of the hat should hit the ring. 

Carefully cut a notch into each side of the foam ring with the exacto or serrated knife. Be patient and slow here. There's no time for starting over, or going to the ER for stitches.

Working quickly, hot glue the notches and fit onto the hat

Hold steady until cool.

Use spray paint very carefully to touch up any dings.

Tie to an overhead hook to dry overnight. Use a hairdryer if you're nervous.

To wear, put the headband on your head correctly then adjust the tilt The hat should lean properly.

However, here's where you'll thank me: although very light, the hat can't cantilever well off the front of a human head. Take the elastic and loop it around a ponytail to balance the weight.

*Short haired version: instead of the elastic headband, you can take a length of half-inch elastic that is long enough to loop the center around the sturdy headband and go behind your ears and tie at your chin like a sunhat. Not incredibly comfortable, but then, this hat is for effect.

Finished Tree

Got the tree yesterday, and here it is all put together. The light plugs into the top of the blue twinkle lights, and it has its own switch.

Colin Baker gives a little wave, there, next to Amy Pond, Ood Sigma and Captain Jack.


My oldest felt that having the people made it look too much like a paper-doll tree, so in the end we rehung all the doctors and companions at the bottom, which has the added benefit of amusing the cat.

Ornaments!

 

Keeping in mind that this is a quickie fun project, not one for the ages, here are the ornaments for our Doctor Who Christmas tree. We will have normal ornaments, too, of course, although the thought is to restrict them to blue/white/silver, and blue or white lights.

I don't own these images, they're just off the web. They retain their original copyright.

You'll need:
files printed back-to back in color on card stock
small scissors
hole punch
razor knife/xacto knife
glue stick or contact cement
pin

Print files back-to-back on card stock.
I have done my best to align the back & front on the file. But as you can see from mine, the mysteries of different printers often offset them. Call it a feature, or a white drop shadow, and cut them out using a light to figure out where the edges are.

Be sure to leave white space above the heads so you can put a hole in for string. The top photo is an example, but I didn't put the cutting lines on the files, because of the printer shifting effect.

For the Fezzes, Bow Ties & Police Box signs, just cut them out and put a hole wherever you like. Same with the River Song Blue books.

The tardis(es) are a little different. They're smaller than their original size (you can find full-page versions on the interwebs). I just made them more ornament-sized.

Cut them out and assemble
I used contact cement to make tricky parts stick, and I used a pin to get the teensy light to go in the slots at the top.
I'm intending to use a sewing needle and thread to make a loop to hang them up. You can also perch them on the branches. Rubik's cube gives you an idea of scale.

Doctors & Companions

River Song's Blue Book

Bow Ties, Fezzes & Police Box Signs

Tardis: 3 styles

Tardis Light

As promised, here is the Doctor Who Tardis tree topper.

I don't know why I'm wired this way, but I refuse to do crafts that can't handle the use they're made for. And I have despised most of our traditional tree toppers (except the angel I made myself out of a doll that got water damaged) because that springy thing at the bottom never, ever works on a tree. I think they're meant for threading on a fake tree by twisting the top wire branch. Oh, and I also hate fake trees.

So here I find myself making a tree topper, and I don't want it to sag, flop, or in any other way make my Christmas any more work than it already is. I just want it to attach and glow brightly, and because it's the Tardis light, humorously.

DISCLAIMER: this craft uses lights. I am not an electrician. Everybody repeat that after me: not an electrician. What I know I learned at my intrepid father's knee. Make this thing at your own risk, and only if you're comfortable with the risk.

Here's what you'll need:

• Plastic jar — we always get a little four foot tree and put it up on a table (just like Queen Victoria), so the jar I used was the 15 oz Hellmann's mayonnaise, because we had just finished it, but you can use a bigger one. The blue is only ok, although various Tardises had different variations of blue, and it'll have to do. In retrospect, though, I should've swapped the lid for the darker Miracle Whip one we have.
• Drill & drill bits
• Candelabra socket base — I got mine at Home Depot, but I couldn't find it online. You can get it at Amazon here.
• Pliers and snips
• Small screwdriver
• Replacement plug — this thing is awesome (again, got it at HD, but can't find it online. Here it is at Amazon.)
• Longest thinnest bolt you can get — I used a carriage bolt, which felt stupid, but worked ok. 
• 2 Nuts to fit the bolt
• 2 washers to fit the bolt
• Candelabra bulb
• Teensy zip ties
• 2 big hair claw clips — these will hold the light to the tree securely.

The first attempt, I used a 50 bulb christmas tree string I found for $1.49 and this is what it looked like:

Fail, but I remade it better the second time with a candelabra socket.


Start with the lid. Drill from the inside out. I did it the opposite way, but it's much neater from inside out. Drill four holes. I started with two, but needed four on the fly, but I've helpfully photoshopped them in for you here.

Get the long bolt, nuts & washers.

Push the bolt and washer through from the inside of the lid in the hole that's a little apart from the others on the edge. Sorry for the weird mysterious red line. Ignore it.

Clamp the hair clips onto the bolt and thread the zip ties through. Pinch the clips and pull hard to secure them, being careful not to bend the little metal rod inside the clips. Keep at it until the clamps can't move up and down. They can rotate, though, but don't worry about that.

And now it looks like this:

Now for the light. I should've taken a photo, but I'm sure you can figure this out--cut the plug off the cord as straight across as you can. Remember, I'm not responsible, and not giving you electrical advice, just describing what I did.

Using the little screwdriver, unscrew the switch on the light cord. I personally find it helpful to rub the switch casing with a pencil to show which side had the cut cord, so I can put it together faster later.

Take the cord out and thread it through the center hole of the lid. Go slowly and be super careful because of that cut wire that went into the switch. Now sew the cord up the middle hole and out the third hole at the edge. This will stabilize the light, although you're free to gorilla glue or putty it if you prefer.

Reassemble the switch on the cord, and assemble the replacement plug, following the directions.

Twist in the bulb, and you're done. I'd show you on a tree, but I haven't gotten one yet. I did tag it, though, and tested the light on it at the tree farm. It fixes on beautifully and doesn't sag or droop, because it's so lightweight. I might replace the springy thing on my normal star with the bolt & hair clamp setup.

I'm good with this, but if you want more accuracy, you can add the little upright bars on the sides and put a cap on it. Because it absolutely must be very light (or end up droopy), the most I'd do is a very lightweight felt or foam.